I dream of the day
When I can say all that I want to say
When I can confess all that I desire
Finally say what I require
I dream of the day
When I wake up to sunshine instead of grey
A day filled with smiling to the greatest degree
I'll get there eventually, only then will I be free
I dream of the day
When there are no dues left to pay
I've put in my time, when will I see my reward
I long to have my faith restored
I dream of the day
Maybe tomorrow? But I thought that about today
I don't know who you are, but I'll know when its you
I'll keep my eyes open, I figure I'm due
Sunday, July 20, 2008
way far away
a light breeze comes in off the water
just enough to keep the heat from being hot
just enough to send tingles up the spine
way far away
a hammock, the perfect place to be
gently swaying back and forth
rocking my own cradle
way far away
sounds of the ocean lull me toward sleep
birds with sounds unfamiliar welcome me
no noise threatening to the ear
way far away
waves cry out as they crash against the beach
water line sneaking ever closer
the tide makes itself at home
way far away
smells like a storm
clouds darken ahead
rain will soon consume this all
way far away
birds glide effortlessly overhead
crabs tiptoe restlessly across the sand below
these are the real locals
way far away
this is where my heart longs to be
my memory always comes back to this place
if only this were home, it all seems so
way far away
just enough to keep the heat from being hot
just enough to send tingles up the spine
way far away
a hammock, the perfect place to be
gently swaying back and forth
rocking my own cradle
way far away
sounds of the ocean lull me toward sleep
birds with sounds unfamiliar welcome me
no noise threatening to the ear
way far away
waves cry out as they crash against the beach
water line sneaking ever closer
the tide makes itself at home
way far away
smells like a storm
clouds darken ahead
rain will soon consume this all
way far away
birds glide effortlessly overhead
crabs tiptoe restlessly across the sand below
these are the real locals
way far away
this is where my heart longs to be
my memory always comes back to this place
if only this were home, it all seems so
way far away
lyrics with meaning
nothing is more moving than music
you can connect with song like no person
music doesn't judge
it is there to comfort you when the sun sets on your dreams
to inspire you when nothing else can get through
to pick you up when your down and out
it cheers you up when nothing else has worked
it protects you from what lurks ahead
its there when nothing else is
you can spend unlimited time with a song and it never tires of you
it will be a great friend if you let it
its feelings won't get hurt when it is time to move on
no matter what your mood, music can find away to make you comfortable
it will put you to sleep at night and still be there in the morning
you never have to worry, music will never leave you
it isn't the jealous type, it will share you
there is nothing more gratifying than sharing it
it doesn't care if it has an audience of one or of many
music is versatile
it can be appropriate in any setting
the right song makes any good memory that much more permanent
music has much to teach you if you listen
it has the power to enrich and uplift if you let it
music will fill your soul when you feel empty
even when you won't accept the help it is still willing to try
it won't help you move but it will do its best to make the work go that much quicker
if you need to be alone it still makes good company
when you're at your worst, it works the best
it won't forgive your transgressions but it will help you get past them
no one else may understand you but music wants you to understand it
music will always have a welcome mat on its front step
it leaves out no one, the more the merrier
whether you're alone or you brought friends, music is the life of the party
it moves you in a way nothing else ever could
if you close your eyes and take it all in, it will take it all away
with music, your weight is lifted but you are far from empty
its never too late to let it into your life
music has something for everyone
it will not discriminate, neither should you
whether you listen to someone else's or make your own
it can be in your mind or in your heart
music never takes a day off, music is there
you can connect with song like no person
music doesn't judge
it is there to comfort you when the sun sets on your dreams
to inspire you when nothing else can get through
to pick you up when your down and out
it cheers you up when nothing else has worked
it protects you from what lurks ahead
its there when nothing else is
you can spend unlimited time with a song and it never tires of you
it will be a great friend if you let it
its feelings won't get hurt when it is time to move on
no matter what your mood, music can find away to make you comfortable
it will put you to sleep at night and still be there in the morning
you never have to worry, music will never leave you
it isn't the jealous type, it will share you
there is nothing more gratifying than sharing it
it doesn't care if it has an audience of one or of many
music is versatile
it can be appropriate in any setting
the right song makes any good memory that much more permanent
music has much to teach you if you listen
it has the power to enrich and uplift if you let it
music will fill your soul when you feel empty
even when you won't accept the help it is still willing to try
it won't help you move but it will do its best to make the work go that much quicker
if you need to be alone it still makes good company
when you're at your worst, it works the best
it won't forgive your transgressions but it will help you get past them
no one else may understand you but music wants you to understand it
music will always have a welcome mat on its front step
it leaves out no one, the more the merrier
whether you're alone or you brought friends, music is the life of the party
it moves you in a way nothing else ever could
if you close your eyes and take it all in, it will take it all away
with music, your weight is lifted but you are far from empty
its never too late to let it into your life
music has something for everyone
it will not discriminate, neither should you
whether you listen to someone else's or make your own
it can be in your mind or in your heart
music never takes a day off, music is there
Friday, July 18, 2008
irony, what a bitch
I was at the beach with some friends for my birthday but we purposely returned home semi early so I had time to prepare for my business trip the next morning. So I fell asleep around 11:15 that night and woke up a little after 3:00 (yep, a.m., which is my average bed time during the school year)...
So I arrive at the airport around 5 for my flight. As I walk in the doors of the terminal a guy in a 400 foot line says, "Hope you aren't going to Atlanta." When I ask why he responds, "Cuz the flight isn't till 9:15 now." DOHHH. So much for that 10am meeting in Atlanta. I consult with my co worker who is also there and we say oh well at least we can make it to Atlanta in time for our connection to Charleston at 1:30...
That 9:15 departure ends up being 12:15 so we now have an hour and a half flight to Atlanta, which if your math is bad means I'm not making that 1:30 flight I need to make. So we land in Atlanta around 1:50 and its now seeming like a lost cause of getting to Charleston. We check a monitor and see theres another flight at about 2 so we might have a chance (and then nothing else till after 5)...except its departing from the far terminal (Atlanta has the most traffic of any airport in the US and is quite huge) so we now have to make it a half mile weaving through like 27, 658 people in like 5 minutes in order to have some small shot at getting on this flight...
We arrive right as the ticket agent shuts the door and she tell us tough luck the next flight isn't until 5:30. DOHH again. We plead for her to let us on because our delay was her company's fault and she gives my coworker attitude so he says give me your name and the number for your company's customer service rep, which she does, and he grabs his phone, pretending to call them. The agent panics cuz she will get a bad comment against her so she calls us over and says, "Lucky for yall I'm in a Sanda Closss type mood today, murray Chrispmas." Just then the flight attendant comes out and says she has two seats left and can they find two more passengers... OOH OOH PICK US (it felt like middle school dodgeball all over again, no one wants to be the kid who isn't picked to play)...She picked us (take that suckers!) so now all that is left is to change our existing tickets to match this flight. She changes my associate's Delta ticket at 1:30 to Delta at 2 and he's good to go like a crunch wrap supreme. Now its my turn, she begins to change my AirTran 1:30 ticket to Delta at 2....WAIT AirTran?!?!...FUCK me, the secretary in the office had put me on the wrong airline from my peers so there's no way they can swap me over to Delta with the plane leaving in like 37.8 seconds. So my coworker chimes in, "I bet your manager could help us..." to the agent and with that, I got put on a Delta flight I had no business being on and because it was my birthday and one of the seats was first class, thats where they put me...
We get off the plane and tell this story to my boss and another co worker and they crack up over it. Now they decide they want to tour an aircraft carrier thats in the Charleston harbor. Its now about 5:15 and the tour ends at 5:30 and we are 10 miles away according to Garmin. We get there and arrive at like 5:32 and the man who runs the tour tells us tough luck we missed out. So Bill, the co worker who got me on the flight, says, "Thats a shame, I flew A-2's off that deck during 'Nam." The eyes of the tour guide light up and he says he will give us the grand tour because he was serving on this very ship during his tour in 'Nam (Bill is now responsible for getting me on a plane today, a car {he ordered the rental car} and now a ship). They trade stories, I get to take a picture next to a .40 cal machine gun that has a barrel wider than I am and we see the whole ship, with no other visitors to get in the way. From here we went on to see Fort Moultrie which is across the harbor from Fort Sumter (if that doesn't ring a bell, you slept through elementary school history class). We ate dinner at Gilligans (the best restaurant in S.C., so if you are on vacation, go there) where I got a broiled Mahi Mahi sandwich and crab dip...It was damn good...
The next morning we go on to our meeting at the Airport with the Air Force and Delta airlines (I shoulda told their rep. how bad my Delta experience was yesterday, I'm sure he knows his company sucks if he has to fly on it too, I decide to spare him my frustration because I had a good evening). My boss lets me dip out of the meeting to go with the woman who runs the airport so she can arrange a tour of the control tower for me...which is pretty damn cool and really makes me wanna be a controller at a small airport (there is so little traffic, I'd be ok making 100g's in a stress free environment...they were each playing their own game of solitaire and racing to see who finished first). From here we head into the airport to make our flight to Dallas at 4. Maybe this will be a good trip after all...
At 4:30 they tell us sorry for the delay but they are inspecting a dent on the wing (which my boss explains to me is from a bird strike, sweeeet). At 5 we are finally boarding and this delay doesn't even bother me compared to the last one...
Turns out that small delay gave a bad storm time to move into Dallas which meant our plane circled for an hour before we got low on fuel and had to land...in Tyler Texas (I shit you not, its a real place...miniature rose capital of Texas, home of Earl Campbell, look it up) where we sat for an hour on a 50 seat cramped airplane, right in front of the bathroom which was beginning to reek of piss. Then they crammed us and 500 others into a terminal meant for about 100 people max...they did bring in about 40 pizzas from the local ci ci's so props to them for feeding us (dog food pizza is still better than no food in my book)...
The weather passes and we arrive in Dallas at 10:30, now I not only missed the Home Run Derby last night but most of All-Star game (it went 15 innings so I got to see plenty of it but still)...I get into my hotel room (5 star luxury resort by the way, at least the government does that right) and wonder why my nose feels runny...oh thats not snot, its blood...score, must be from the dry air of the airplane I was trapped on. At least I can go to the bar and by a drink now that I'm 20...oh wait...no thats right I can't, what a blower...
We go to our meeting with NASA on Wednesday morning and half way through my boss announces he's flying home early for a family crisis, can't blame him for that one. But now I'm stuck with the rest of the guys from work (the nerdy bunch, freakin' engineers) and I'll have to fend for myself to get home ok...I get back to BWI just fine that night, at 10:30 or so. At least I can sleep in tomorrow after a long day of travel...DOHH once again...I set my clock for 5am, I still have work tomorrow...
I survived work, went to see Dark Knight that night at midnight, it was the AWESOMEST! I get every other Friday off because of the overtime I work, so thank goodness for that. I woke up at like 2:45 today and started writin' this very blog, enjoy, cuz after all, Irony is funny and nothing is more ironic than the FAA workers trying to make air travel better and more efficient getting stuck with about 11 hours of delays in 3 days time (i didnt realize this was ironic until everyone who i sat next to on my 5 flights told me it was)...What a birthday...Irony, what a bitch
So I arrive at the airport around 5 for my flight. As I walk in the doors of the terminal a guy in a 400 foot line says, "Hope you aren't going to Atlanta." When I ask why he responds, "Cuz the flight isn't till 9:15 now." DOHHH. So much for that 10am meeting in Atlanta. I consult with my co worker who is also there and we say oh well at least we can make it to Atlanta in time for our connection to Charleston at 1:30...
That 9:15 departure ends up being 12:15 so we now have an hour and a half flight to Atlanta, which if your math is bad means I'm not making that 1:30 flight I need to make. So we land in Atlanta around 1:50 and its now seeming like a lost cause of getting to Charleston. We check a monitor and see theres another flight at about 2 so we might have a chance (and then nothing else till after 5)...except its departing from the far terminal (Atlanta has the most traffic of any airport in the US and is quite huge) so we now have to make it a half mile weaving through like 27, 658 people in like 5 minutes in order to have some small shot at getting on this flight...
We arrive right as the ticket agent shuts the door and she tell us tough luck the next flight isn't until 5:30. DOHH again. We plead for her to let us on because our delay was her company's fault and she gives my coworker attitude so he says give me your name and the number for your company's customer service rep, which she does, and he grabs his phone, pretending to call them. The agent panics cuz she will get a bad comment against her so she calls us over and says, "Lucky for yall I'm in a Sanda Closss type mood today, murray Chrispmas." Just then the flight attendant comes out and says she has two seats left and can they find two more passengers... OOH OOH PICK US (it felt like middle school dodgeball all over again, no one wants to be the kid who isn't picked to play)...She picked us (take that suckers!) so now all that is left is to change our existing tickets to match this flight. She changes my associate's Delta ticket at 1:30 to Delta at 2 and he's good to go like a crunch wrap supreme. Now its my turn, she begins to change my AirTran 1:30 ticket to Delta at 2....WAIT AirTran?!?!...FUCK me, the secretary in the office had put me on the wrong airline from my peers so there's no way they can swap me over to Delta with the plane leaving in like 37.8 seconds. So my coworker chimes in, "I bet your manager could help us..." to the agent and with that, I got put on a Delta flight I had no business being on and because it was my birthday and one of the seats was first class, thats where they put me...
We get off the plane and tell this story to my boss and another co worker and they crack up over it. Now they decide they want to tour an aircraft carrier thats in the Charleston harbor. Its now about 5:15 and the tour ends at 5:30 and we are 10 miles away according to Garmin. We get there and arrive at like 5:32 and the man who runs the tour tells us tough luck we missed out. So Bill, the co worker who got me on the flight, says, "Thats a shame, I flew A-2's off that deck during 'Nam." The eyes of the tour guide light up and he says he will give us the grand tour because he was serving on this very ship during his tour in 'Nam (Bill is now responsible for getting me on a plane today, a car {he ordered the rental car} and now a ship). They trade stories, I get to take a picture next to a .40 cal machine gun that has a barrel wider than I am and we see the whole ship, with no other visitors to get in the way. From here we went on to see Fort Moultrie which is across the harbor from Fort Sumter (if that doesn't ring a bell, you slept through elementary school history class). We ate dinner at Gilligans (the best restaurant in S.C., so if you are on vacation, go there) where I got a broiled Mahi Mahi sandwich and crab dip...It was damn good...
The next morning we go on to our meeting at the Airport with the Air Force and Delta airlines (I shoulda told their rep. how bad my Delta experience was yesterday, I'm sure he knows his company sucks if he has to fly on it too, I decide to spare him my frustration because I had a good evening). My boss lets me dip out of the meeting to go with the woman who runs the airport so she can arrange a tour of the control tower for me...which is pretty damn cool and really makes me wanna be a controller at a small airport (there is so little traffic, I'd be ok making 100g's in a stress free environment...they were each playing their own game of solitaire and racing to see who finished first). From here we head into the airport to make our flight to Dallas at 4. Maybe this will be a good trip after all...
At 4:30 they tell us sorry for the delay but they are inspecting a dent on the wing (which my boss explains to me is from a bird strike, sweeeet). At 5 we are finally boarding and this delay doesn't even bother me compared to the last one...
Turns out that small delay gave a bad storm time to move into Dallas which meant our plane circled for an hour before we got low on fuel and had to land...in Tyler Texas (I shit you not, its a real place...miniature rose capital of Texas, home of Earl Campbell, look it up) where we sat for an hour on a 50 seat cramped airplane, right in front of the bathroom which was beginning to reek of piss. Then they crammed us and 500 others into a terminal meant for about 100 people max...they did bring in about 40 pizzas from the local ci ci's so props to them for feeding us (dog food pizza is still better than no food in my book)...
The weather passes and we arrive in Dallas at 10:30, now I not only missed the Home Run Derby last night but most of All-Star game (it went 15 innings so I got to see plenty of it but still)...I get into my hotel room (5 star luxury resort by the way, at least the government does that right) and wonder why my nose feels runny...oh thats not snot, its blood...score, must be from the dry air of the airplane I was trapped on. At least I can go to the bar and by a drink now that I'm 20...oh wait...no thats right I can't, what a blower...
We go to our meeting with NASA on Wednesday morning and half way through my boss announces he's flying home early for a family crisis, can't blame him for that one. But now I'm stuck with the rest of the guys from work (the nerdy bunch, freakin' engineers) and I'll have to fend for myself to get home ok...I get back to BWI just fine that night, at 10:30 or so. At least I can sleep in tomorrow after a long day of travel...DOHH once again...I set my clock for 5am, I still have work tomorrow...
I survived work, went to see Dark Knight that night at midnight, it was the AWESOMEST! I get every other Friday off because of the overtime I work, so thank goodness for that. I woke up at like 2:45 today and started writin' this very blog, enjoy, cuz after all, Irony is funny and nothing is more ironic than the FAA workers trying to make air travel better and more efficient getting stuck with about 11 hours of delays in 3 days time (i didnt realize this was ironic until everyone who i sat next to on my 5 flights told me it was)...What a birthday...Irony, what a bitch
Saturday, June 7, 2008
Who likes easy anyway?
I tried to escape from the world
Tried and failed
Life hunted me down
A shark to blood
Peace is impossible
Happiness is unattainable
Just when you think you are there
You are served a crippling blow
"Knocked down 7 times,
stand up 8," at least thats what they say
It seems like it would be easier to just
Eliminate the whole getting knocked down part
Maybe thats what I'll do,
Find a way to stay on my feet
Now that seems easier said then done
Who likes easy anyway?
Tried and failed
Life hunted me down
A shark to blood
Peace is impossible
Happiness is unattainable
Just when you think you are there
You are served a crippling blow
"Knocked down 7 times,
stand up 8," at least thats what they say
It seems like it would be easier to just
Eliminate the whole getting knocked down part
Maybe thats what I'll do,
Find a way to stay on my feet
Now that seems easier said then done
Who likes easy anyway?
The deal
What is the deal?
Nothing can just go smoothly
I don't ask for much
What is the deal?
I just want to be happy
And not be bothered.
That can't be too much to ask for,
What is the deal?
I wish to avoid stress
But it seems thats impossible.
Is that greedy of me?
What is the deal?
Try to be supportive of others
But lack support in return.
How silly of me to want that too?
What is the deal?
Respect and compassion,
Two simple wants
But too complex to receive
What is the deal?
Perhaps isolation is the key,
Solidarity seems a dream.
Am i too old to dream?
What is the deal?
Everyone else has these issues
But they don't seem to complain about it.
Life is simple, why does it feel so complicated?
What is my deal?
Nothing can just go smoothly
I don't ask for much
What is the deal?
I just want to be happy
And not be bothered.
That can't be too much to ask for,
What is the deal?
I wish to avoid stress
But it seems thats impossible.
Is that greedy of me?
What is the deal?
Try to be supportive of others
But lack support in return.
How silly of me to want that too?
What is the deal?
Respect and compassion,
Two simple wants
But too complex to receive
What is the deal?
Perhaps isolation is the key,
Solidarity seems a dream.
Am i too old to dream?
What is the deal?
Everyone else has these issues
But they don't seem to complain about it.
Life is simple, why does it feel so complicated?
What is my deal?
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Advice for my advisor
Heres some advice adviser Laura...write a how to book. It is a true skill you were to be able to not only get a decent job but be able to keep it, what is your secret? Who decided you were qualified enough to be a Walmart greeter let alone a college adviser? You may be stupid but that person is the village idiot...
The first time I ever met you I was too distracted by your Buffy the Vampire Slayer shrine of an office and you poster that says "10 reasons why your advisor is the most important person in your college career." You asked me during this appointment why you didn't have a copy of my 4 year plan already...well thats because they hadn't had us do one yet. Our next meeting you asked me what requirements I still needed to fill even though you had the print out right in front of you. Then you asked me what classes I should take to fill them...isn't your job to guide me with that?...
Then for our 3rd visit which was scheduled for 9 am, you showed up for work at 920 and went straight back in your Buffy memorial, i mean your office. Several mins after that when the student working at the advising desk reminded you that you had an appointment you said, "oh I didn't know i had any appointments for today..." Seriously?!? The day before people register for classes you didn't expect to have advising meetings...its not like most of your job as an adviser is to meet with people, crazy huh? Well then you told her you'd be out in a few minutes (which as i recall was 12mins). You finally came out and brought me back to your office where you asked if i was new here...no we've met several times, plus notice how my transcript is only from this school. Then after looking at my current schedule you said, "oh you have class at 930, why didn't you plan ahead better and set your appointment earlier, missing class is bad, its already 948."...
I did my best not to let this anger me because you probably meant well but you are just about as smart as Elmer's glue. Anyway, you told me I still needed to take a non lab science and fill that requirement. Then said students often took phil170 to fill their requirement. So thats what i did, i took phil170, which ended up being my hardest class of the current semester and the one class I have to work surprisingly hard at...
Now heres the punchline... at our next meeting you asked me why I hadn't taken a non lab science yet. To which i responded, you had me take phil170 for that and you said, "No i said it filled a requirement for some students, not you, see you filled that requirement already, right here." THATS RIGHT you had me take a class for no reason what so ever. I got no benefit from it and i could have taken astr100 with my roommate who currently has a 96.5% in the course and i could have filled a requirement instead of struggling for a B in a class that means nothing. When i mentioned this to you, you said, "Well at least now you'll have critical thinking skills and might not have this happen again, hahahahaha." Wow adviser Laura, you are funnnnnnny. How funny would it be if i ripped down one of your Buffy calendars, lit it on fire, and then urinated to put out the fire? That would be good times all around I'm sure....
Anyway the fun didn't end there because you told me after 2 years of college I had 61 of the 122 credits i'd need to graduate and then you delivered this little gem, "You have half your credits after half your years...I'm willing to say, i think thats a definite positive." Yeah? me being right on schedule isn't a negative? Go figure...
After looking at your stupid posters, hearing your voice that sounds like a parrot on helium, looking at your hair the color of vomited up carrots, having you put me behind a semester, and then talking down to me like i'm in pre k even though you are lower on the evolutionary chart than my Chapstick...the real positive is that I know it would take 100 hits to the skull with an aluminum bat for me to be as stupid as you... I guess adviser Laura you have been helpful, you have taught me the value of a good education, one neither of us received from our colleges thus far, but there is also a value in just being naturally more intelligent than 86.734% of people you meet in life, At least i have that going for me now even though I haven't finished my CORE requirements. Rock on...
The first time I ever met you I was too distracted by your Buffy the Vampire Slayer shrine of an office and you poster that says "10 reasons why your advisor is the most important person in your college career." You asked me during this appointment why you didn't have a copy of my 4 year plan already...well thats because they hadn't had us do one yet. Our next meeting you asked me what requirements I still needed to fill even though you had the print out right in front of you. Then you asked me what classes I should take to fill them...isn't your job to guide me with that?...
Then for our 3rd visit which was scheduled for 9 am, you showed up for work at 920 and went straight back in your Buffy memorial, i mean your office. Several mins after that when the student working at the advising desk reminded you that you had an appointment you said, "oh I didn't know i had any appointments for today..." Seriously?!? The day before people register for classes you didn't expect to have advising meetings...its not like most of your job as an adviser is to meet with people, crazy huh? Well then you told her you'd be out in a few minutes (which as i recall was 12mins). You finally came out and brought me back to your office where you asked if i was new here...no we've met several times, plus notice how my transcript is only from this school. Then after looking at my current schedule you said, "oh you have class at 930, why didn't you plan ahead better and set your appointment earlier, missing class is bad, its already 948."...
I did my best not to let this anger me because you probably meant well but you are just about as smart as Elmer's glue. Anyway, you told me I still needed to take a non lab science and fill that requirement. Then said students often took phil170 to fill their requirement. So thats what i did, i took phil170, which ended up being my hardest class of the current semester and the one class I have to work surprisingly hard at...
Now heres the punchline... at our next meeting you asked me why I hadn't taken a non lab science yet. To which i responded, you had me take phil170 for that and you said, "No i said it filled a requirement for some students, not you, see you filled that requirement already, right here." THATS RIGHT you had me take a class for no reason what so ever. I got no benefit from it and i could have taken astr100 with my roommate who currently has a 96.5% in the course and i could have filled a requirement instead of struggling for a B in a class that means nothing. When i mentioned this to you, you said, "Well at least now you'll have critical thinking skills and might not have this happen again, hahahahaha." Wow adviser Laura, you are funnnnnnny. How funny would it be if i ripped down one of your Buffy calendars, lit it on fire, and then urinated to put out the fire? That would be good times all around I'm sure....
Anyway the fun didn't end there because you told me after 2 years of college I had 61 of the 122 credits i'd need to graduate and then you delivered this little gem, "You have half your credits after half your years...I'm willing to say, i think thats a definite positive." Yeah? me being right on schedule isn't a negative? Go figure...
After looking at your stupid posters, hearing your voice that sounds like a parrot on helium, looking at your hair the color of vomited up carrots, having you put me behind a semester, and then talking down to me like i'm in pre k even though you are lower on the evolutionary chart than my Chapstick...the real positive is that I know it would take 100 hits to the skull with an aluminum bat for me to be as stupid as you... I guess adviser Laura you have been helpful, you have taught me the value of a good education, one neither of us received from our colleges thus far, but there is also a value in just being naturally more intelligent than 86.734% of people you meet in life, At least i have that going for me now even though I haven't finished my CORE requirements. Rock on...
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Soon to come
The breeze blows cool on the back of my neck
Enough to send shudders down my spine
Leaves on the trees wave like old friends
Ripples in the grass make an ocean of green
The clouds burn off making way for the sun
Warmth on my face like sitting too close to a fire
Barefoot on cement as cold as the ice in my drink
It all hints of what is soon to come
Soon, Spring will give way to its more powerful kin
It will be here in full force with all that it brings
Heat so hot the sweat pools just by being
Humid enough to make the flowers bow out gracefully
Green turns to desert, will be tumbleweeds be next?
People head toward beaches in droves, like wagons heading west
Children bury back packs like treasure they don’t want anyone to discover
A familiar sound rings out, Good Humor for all those that give chase
I welcome it all because
Summer means freedom
Summer means salvation
Summer is my escape
Friday, January 18, 2008
dentists=pain, well known fact
I went to the dentist today....dohhh....i should have left the country instead. My appointment was for 8:45, i got out of the office at 10:39, needless to say it was fun for all. I arrived and signed the same sheet i sign every time that says none of my information has changed. And every time i tell them nothing has changed but they make me read it and sign anyway. Good policy....
I was the only one in the office yet i waited till 9 to see the hygienist. She grilled me for not flossing enough (I floss once a day) and she drilled me for not brushing my gums (uhh guess i was busy with my teeth)....
Next she fried me for not brushing behind my back molars...huh...apparently when my wisdom teeth were out they forgot to tell me to brush my gums back there...my bad? She was like "take your brush and relax your jaw and brush behind your tooth...i said relax it...you arent relaxing" BITCH i'm not a snake, my jaw doesnt detach so i can swallow a rabbit whole. If i could move my jaw like that, i would. No, she didnt apologize for ramming my jaw with the plastic end of the brush for 2 mins non stop...
So she proceeded to clean my teeth which bleed all over because my gums were sore. Then the dentist came in and grilled me for the exact same things as the hygienist. Fun!...
One the way out I went to the receptionist to check out. Shes about 27/28 years old and started off the conversation like "aww youve grown up so much, blah blah blah" then changed to "Your mom must be so proud of her young stud" Then she asked me how school was last semester and when i told her stressful she said "what? what does a young cutie like you have to be stressed out about"...Wow lady, I'm creeped but strangely flattered at the same time...She continued like this for several more minutes and finally scheduled my next appointment..."See you in 6 months cutie" is what I heard as I exited the office....I cant wait till my next visit...
I was the only one in the office yet i waited till 9 to see the hygienist. She grilled me for not flossing enough (I floss once a day) and she drilled me for not brushing my gums (uhh guess i was busy with my teeth)....
Next she fried me for not brushing behind my back molars...huh...apparently when my wisdom teeth were out they forgot to tell me to brush my gums back there...my bad? She was like "take your brush and relax your jaw and brush behind your tooth...i said relax it...you arent relaxing" BITCH i'm not a snake, my jaw doesnt detach so i can swallow a rabbit whole. If i could move my jaw like that, i would. No, she didnt apologize for ramming my jaw with the plastic end of the brush for 2 mins non stop...
So she proceeded to clean my teeth which bleed all over because my gums were sore. Then the dentist came in and grilled me for the exact same things as the hygienist. Fun!...
One the way out I went to the receptionist to check out. Shes about 27/28 years old and started off the conversation like "aww youve grown up so much, blah blah blah" then changed to "Your mom must be so proud of her young stud" Then she asked me how school was last semester and when i told her stressful she said "what? what does a young cutie like you have to be stressed out about"...Wow lady, I'm creeped but strangely flattered at the same time...She continued like this for several more minutes and finally scheduled my next appointment..."See you in 6 months cutie" is what I heard as I exited the office....I cant wait till my next visit...
Our government...
While sitting around enjoying SportsCenter for the 4th time in one afternoon I received a phone call from an NSA agent. He wanted to come to my house and interview me because a friend listed me as a reference on a job application. I told him I was free tomorrow (which was Wednesday) so he decided to come around 1pm....
Agent Sterling pulled into my driveway at the exact second my watch hit 1pm, uncanny really. He introduced himself, showed me his credentials (from about 32 different angles, dude I get it, you have a badge, I don't). We sat down at my kitchen table, I offered him a drink, he declined and so we started the interview....
He pulled out a packet of questions about my friend "Clifford" and grabbed his nifty space pen in order to takes notes on our conversation. He begins by asking me how I met Cliff and how long ago that was. So I told him about playing tennis together and he said "oh...you only played the one sport, hmm." And he jotted down "One sport" in his Holly Hobby notebook. I found this strange but replied well he played basketball with us a few times too... Agent Sterling didn't seem impressed and wrote down "Baskets too." Next he asked about our classes and I listed our several AP classes we took together. He said "A....P.....Advanced Place mats?...Placement!...That sounds hard." I told him no not really, Clifford and I both did well. To which he jotted "Advanced but not hard"....
The interview continued like that for several minutes, meanwhile I'm sweating like I was strapped into the electric chair with a heat lamp shining on me. Then out of no where he goes "Oh ok, heres a question, Do you think your friend is a threat to blow up a federal building?" Uhhh no dude wtf, why would I hang with a threat to national security, give me more credit than that. I thought the questions were going to be things like have you ever seen Cliff speed while driving to which I would say yeah, you almost have to speed to not cause an accident these days...But is he a bomb threat? Nasty curveball man....
Then he asked me some standard stuff. "Does your friend associate with any 'bad' people, drug dealers etc." Hmm let me think I did see him dealing crack this one time....NO but I wonder what I'll be asked next. "Does he drink or do drugs?" Shocker... Umm this one time I walked in on him doing a line of coke off a hookers ass...No man, come on, I don't do drugs so why would I be around when someone else was doing them. I mean since I've never seen him do it, its a safe bet he's clean, jeez....To this he wrote down "No drugs seen so far"...
"Is he patriotic?" Well we've never participated in a "Go America!" rally together but I'd say its a safe bet considering he was a citizen of another country before and now he isn't. Seems loyal to me, but what do I know? He then scribbled down something along the lines of "Loyal patriot." I don't know if I'd go that far, I mean I love living here too but I don't know if I'd compare myself to George Washington quite yet...
He then went off topic and began telling me about all the opportunities and benefits of government work, to which I agreed and listened careful because maybe I'll apply for a govt. job one day too so my friends can experience this process as well...From there he brought up College Park, "I've met with several other young people from your college, older ones mostly, but I so surprised that kids who were just fifth year seniors were already thinking so far ahead. I mean they even asked me what the health benefits were like HAHAHAHA, can you imagine?" I was kind of caught off guard by this comment so I couldn't come up with anything truly smart ass to say so my only remark was "Yeah, how wild, its not like they'll have to worry about that anytime soon, thats like what? 5 months away"... And then he asked me if I had given a career in the government any thoughts and I said a little and he told me to check online which I appreciated and said well this could could prove worth while after all. So naturally he wrote in his notebook, "Appreciative, ready for future too." Awesome. Our tax dollars at work, that $100 space pen is really being put to good use....God bless America? You're damn right...
The interview wrapped up after some other nutty moments which I'll spare you from reading about. I walked him to the door, told him its ok to turn his car around in the grass so he doesn't have to back up our driveway because even we don't enjoy that and he seemed tickled as if he was being treated as a member of the family. Overall this was a positive experience, Agent Sterling, you are welcome back anytime. Oh and Cliff good luck getting the job, hopefully you weren't applying to be the official NSA interview man, my boy Sterling has that on lock down...
Agent Sterling pulled into my driveway at the exact second my watch hit 1pm, uncanny really. He introduced himself, showed me his credentials (from about 32 different angles, dude I get it, you have a badge, I don't). We sat down at my kitchen table, I offered him a drink, he declined and so we started the interview....
He pulled out a packet of questions about my friend "Clifford" and grabbed his nifty space pen in order to takes notes on our conversation. He begins by asking me how I met Cliff and how long ago that was. So I told him about playing tennis together and he said "oh...you only played the one sport, hmm." And he jotted down "One sport" in his Holly Hobby notebook. I found this strange but replied well he played basketball with us a few times too... Agent Sterling didn't seem impressed and wrote down "Baskets too." Next he asked about our classes and I listed our several AP classes we took together. He said "A....P.....Advanced Place mats?...Placement!...That sounds hard." I told him no not really, Clifford and I both did well. To which he jotted "Advanced but not hard"....
The interview continued like that for several minutes, meanwhile I'm sweating like I was strapped into the electric chair with a heat lamp shining on me. Then out of no where he goes "Oh ok, heres a question, Do you think your friend is a threat to blow up a federal building?" Uhhh no dude wtf, why would I hang with a threat to national security, give me more credit than that. I thought the questions were going to be things like have you ever seen Cliff speed while driving to which I would say yeah, you almost have to speed to not cause an accident these days...But is he a bomb threat? Nasty curveball man....
Then he asked me some standard stuff. "Does your friend associate with any 'bad' people, drug dealers etc." Hmm let me think I did see him dealing crack this one time....NO but I wonder what I'll be asked next. "Does he drink or do drugs?" Shocker... Umm this one time I walked in on him doing a line of coke off a hookers ass...No man, come on, I don't do drugs so why would I be around when someone else was doing them. I mean since I've never seen him do it, its a safe bet he's clean, jeez....To this he wrote down "No drugs seen so far"...
"Is he patriotic?" Well we've never participated in a "Go America!" rally together but I'd say its a safe bet considering he was a citizen of another country before and now he isn't. Seems loyal to me, but what do I know? He then scribbled down something along the lines of "Loyal patriot." I don't know if I'd go that far, I mean I love living here too but I don't know if I'd compare myself to George Washington quite yet...
He then went off topic and began telling me about all the opportunities and benefits of government work, to which I agreed and listened careful because maybe I'll apply for a govt. job one day too so my friends can experience this process as well...From there he brought up College Park, "I've met with several other young people from your college, older ones mostly, but I so surprised that kids who were just fifth year seniors were already thinking so far ahead. I mean they even asked me what the health benefits were like HAHAHAHA, can you imagine?" I was kind of caught off guard by this comment so I couldn't come up with anything truly smart ass to say so my only remark was "Yeah, how wild, its not like they'll have to worry about that anytime soon, thats like what? 5 months away"... And then he asked me if I had given a career in the government any thoughts and I said a little and he told me to check online which I appreciated and said well this could could prove worth while after all. So naturally he wrote in his notebook, "Appreciative, ready for future too." Awesome. Our tax dollars at work, that $100 space pen is really being put to good use....God bless America? You're damn right...
The interview wrapped up after some other nutty moments which I'll spare you from reading about. I walked him to the door, told him its ok to turn his car around in the grass so he doesn't have to back up our driveway because even we don't enjoy that and he seemed tickled as if he was being treated as a member of the family. Overall this was a positive experience, Agent Sterling, you are welcome back anytime. Oh and Cliff good luck getting the job, hopefully you weren't applying to be the official NSA interview man, my boy Sterling has that on lock down...
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Ad replies
The ad i mentioned in my last post received 2 or 3 replies initially. The girl that I spoke of at the end of the last post I never ended up speaking to. The other replies were from a very cool black girl who I actually think I'll end up being pretty good friends with, which is way cool. The other response was from..uhh...lets call her Sue...
Basically after speaking for a few days, Sue terrifies the shit out of me, lol. I don't know why I'm laughing, the chick is totally off balance. After a few minutes of talking she brought up how we had that kind of chemistry two parents would have? First of all, what? Second of all, what? Does that mean we'd make a good fit to have babies? I'm 6 feet tall, athletic, incredibly personable, and very suave, lol. She is 5 feet tall, her only interaction with the sun is from eating sun scream probably, shes creepy, but shes personable too in that type of "I'm gonna chop you into little bits and store you in my freezer sort of way." So at least we share some similar traits?...
Sue's next comment that might raise a few eyebrows when she told me she was waiting till marriage to you know...engage in reindeer games...but I was a cutie so who knows...AWESOME girl I don't even know, sure ill be your first time!!!! Who says that to someone? I hope she was just being funny or messing with me with all of this because it gets worse...
"Can I call you baby?" That was the next thing...Umm are we dating? No? Then no you cant call me that. Are you my actual birth mother? No? Then I'm sorry it just wouldnt make sense for you to call me that...
"How about cutie?" Well maybe because that at least makes some sense...Wait! No, you can't, I don't even know you. After this, my next thought was to just say good night and block her or maybe change my name and get a fake passport so I can move to Bismarck, North Dakota and live with my man crush Rod...I digress...
She finished by saying the ONLY thing that could make this worse for me. If your guess was that she invited me over for daiquiris... you're wrong, it's worse. "When we are dating I'll be able to say goodnight with those three special words"...(uhh: Bite me bitch?)... "I love you!"...Dohhh she said it, I'm done for, I need to cut all ties here...
So after spending 30 minutes explaining how it was a mistake to do this because I'm not emotionally ready yet and her seeming to buy it, she says, "so wait, was it something i said?"...Uhhh yessss, but I'm not gonna tell you that. I'm sure you're probably a nice girl who is just a little clingy but come on now, you would have to know this interaction will haunt my dreams for months to come....
So I finally ended our brief relationship, lol, nicely and seemingly smoothly. But really who knows? She could be hacking into my computer right now to see where I live and what my credit card numbers are (all nerds can do that right?). Well at least I had 19 years of fun, lol, now I can live in quasi fear of this chick....Awesome...
In summary I'm actually hoping this was just some 40 year old weirdo sitting in his basement getting his gay jollies from this because at this then I won't be petrified this chick will come looking for me...If you need me I'll be busy writing my will...
To Stephen I leave my N64...To Austin I leave my signed baseball collection...To Dicken I leave my legacy of trashing Depends and him not knowing it...To Alex I leave my jersey and my hat collections for him to play pick up ball in...To Chesapeake Rob I leave Rod Benson's screen name so he can keep sweating him as much as do....
Basically after speaking for a few days, Sue terrifies the shit out of me, lol. I don't know why I'm laughing, the chick is totally off balance. After a few minutes of talking she brought up how we had that kind of chemistry two parents would have? First of all, what? Second of all, what? Does that mean we'd make a good fit to have babies? I'm 6 feet tall, athletic, incredibly personable, and very suave, lol. She is 5 feet tall, her only interaction with the sun is from eating sun scream probably, shes creepy, but shes personable too in that type of "I'm gonna chop you into little bits and store you in my freezer sort of way." So at least we share some similar traits?...
Sue's next comment that might raise a few eyebrows when she told me she was waiting till marriage to you know...engage in reindeer games...but I was a cutie so who knows...AWESOME girl I don't even know, sure ill be your first time!!!! Who says that to someone? I hope she was just being funny or messing with me with all of this because it gets worse...
"Can I call you baby?" That was the next thing...Umm are we dating? No? Then no you cant call me that. Are you my actual birth mother? No? Then I'm sorry it just wouldnt make sense for you to call me that...
"How about cutie?" Well maybe because that at least makes some sense...Wait! No, you can't, I don't even know you. After this, my next thought was to just say good night and block her or maybe change my name and get a fake passport so I can move to Bismarck, North Dakota and live with my man crush Rod...I digress...
She finished by saying the ONLY thing that could make this worse for me. If your guess was that she invited me over for daiquiris... you're wrong, it's worse. "When we are dating I'll be able to say goodnight with those three special words"...(uhh: Bite me bitch?)... "I love you!"...Dohhh she said it, I'm done for, I need to cut all ties here...
So after spending 30 minutes explaining how it was a mistake to do this because I'm not emotionally ready yet and her seeming to buy it, she says, "so wait, was it something i said?"...Uhhh yessss, but I'm not gonna tell you that. I'm sure you're probably a nice girl who is just a little clingy but come on now, you would have to know this interaction will haunt my dreams for months to come....
So I finally ended our brief relationship, lol, nicely and seemingly smoothly. But really who knows? She could be hacking into my computer right now to see where I live and what my credit card numbers are (all nerds can do that right?). Well at least I had 19 years of fun, lol, now I can live in quasi fear of this chick....Awesome...
In summary I'm actually hoping this was just some 40 year old weirdo sitting in his basement getting his gay jollies from this because at this then I won't be petrified this chick will come looking for me...If you need me I'll be busy writing my will...
To Stephen I leave my N64...To Austin I leave my signed baseball collection...To Dicken I leave my legacy of trashing Depends and him not knowing it...To Alex I leave my jersey and my hat collections for him to play pick up ball in...To Chesapeake Rob I leave Rod Benson's screen name so he can keep sweating him as much as do....
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
aww jeez
Boredom...its a wonderful thing. Its one of the few things in life that makes doing stupid stuff seem like a fun and productive use of time. Specifically I'm talking about what I was doing at 2 a.m. last night. Because of my recent lady troubles I went into one of my patented rants to my friend Austin. The rant consisted of all I really want out of a relationship...long story there but I'm not greedy I just want to end up happy....
Speaking of happy, my happiest moments from this past semester were football tailgates. One event in particular came to mind. Austin's roommate, Kyle, was telling us about how he reads ads on craigslist about bbw who have curves in all the right places. "Big girls need lovin' too" or to be degraded if you ask Austin, which is a story for another day. Well this scene was more so funny because of the reaction of Kyle's girl, Kelley, when she heard about Kyle's past time of reading about naked wrestling with girls who describe themselves as curvy in the best ways...(listen porky 52DD is nottttt in the right way, sickkkkk)....
Sorry, I got distracted from the real point of this. Kyle's hobby gave me an idea to fill up my night. I decided (with Austin egging me on) to make a personal ad on Craigslist....
I'm 6'1, 170lbs and I have brown hair and blue eyes. I like to be outdoors and play basketball and tennis regularly. I don't like going out to bars and getting drunk, I'm content to just stay home and watch a movie with good company. It'd be nice to meet a girl that doesn't have alot of drama, mental issues, serious medical conditions. Just someone to date that I can sit around with and hang out would be appreciated. Let me know if you fit the bill.
That was the exact ad I posted online (no I didn't include my picture, altho I almost used Austin's...cept I value my house not being burned down, lol). So far I have had one reply from a girl telling me she sounds like exactlllyyyyy what I'm looking for (yeah, I doubt that too) and that we could exchange pictures if I wanted to see what I had to look forward (gawd I hope she isn't talking about what I think...bitch did you even read my ad, I'm looking for a chick who will make me a sandwich in exchange for snuggling with here...jk ladies)....
I'll keep you posted (by making a new post...thats right, pun intended) on what transpires next. Word to your mother...
Speaking of happy, my happiest moments from this past semester were football tailgates. One event in particular came to mind. Austin's roommate, Kyle, was telling us about how he reads ads on craigslist about bbw who have curves in all the right places. "Big girls need lovin' too" or to be degraded if you ask Austin, which is a story for another day. Well this scene was more so funny because of the reaction of Kyle's girl, Kelley, when she heard about Kyle's past time of reading about naked wrestling with girls who describe themselves as curvy in the best ways...(listen porky 52DD is nottttt in the right way, sickkkkk)....
Sorry, I got distracted from the real point of this. Kyle's hobby gave me an idea to fill up my night. I decided (with Austin egging me on) to make a personal ad on Craigslist....
I'm 6'1, 170lbs and I have brown hair and blue eyes. I like to be outdoors and play basketball and tennis regularly. I don't like going out to bars and getting drunk, I'm content to just stay home and watch a movie with good company. It'd be nice to meet a girl that doesn't have alot of drama, mental issues, serious medical conditions. Just someone to date that I can sit around with and hang out would be appreciated. Let me know if you fit the bill.
That was the exact ad I posted online (no I didn't include my picture, altho I almost used Austin's...cept I value my house not being burned down, lol). So far I have had one reply from a girl telling me she sounds like exactlllyyyyy what I'm looking for (yeah, I doubt that too) and that we could exchange pictures if I wanted to see what I had to look forward (gawd I hope she isn't talking about what I think...bitch did you even read my ad, I'm looking for a chick who will make me a sandwich in exchange for snuggling with here...jk ladies)....
I'll keep you posted (by making a new post...thats right, pun intended) on what transpires next. Word to your mother...
Friday, January 11, 2008
Elements of Life
Ever changing
Rearranging
World
Un-definable
Happiness
Fanciful
Love
Trivial
Reality
Integral
Identity
Arbitrary
Feelings
Revealing
Hardships
Fulfilling
Life
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
My new thunder
A storm of lightning
Accompanied by thunder
Scared, startled
My covers I go under
Alone, swallowed by dark
Occasional flashes of light
This scene once
Filled me with fright
Fear is still present
But it's no longer the same
This fear is different
Impossible to tame
The only thing I fear
I cannot avoid
So many doubts come from it
Confidence easily destroyed
Its not alarming to some
But I fear life
I look ahead and see nothing
But struggle and strife
Full of change
Never knowing what is real
A vast rainbow of emotions
Yet I never know just how to feel
I can't focus on this fear
It will accomplish nothing
Nervousness and
Worry is all that will bring
I can either act now
And conquer my fears
Or let them control me
And regret it for the rest of my years
My only real choice is
To meet life head on
Time to face the world, the storm
Is over, tomorrow ushers in a new dawn
Accompanied by thunder
Scared, startled
My covers I go under
Alone, swallowed by dark
Occasional flashes of light
This scene once
Filled me with fright
Fear is still present
But it's no longer the same
This fear is different
Impossible to tame
The only thing I fear
I cannot avoid
So many doubts come from it
Confidence easily destroyed
Its not alarming to some
But I fear life
I look ahead and see nothing
But struggle and strife
Full of change
Never knowing what is real
A vast rainbow of emotions
Yet I never know just how to feel
I can't focus on this fear
It will accomplish nothing
Nervousness and
Worry is all that will bring
I can either act now
And conquer my fears
Or let them control me
And regret it for the rest of my years
My only real choice is
To meet life head on
Time to face the world, the storm
Is over, tomorrow ushers in a new dawn
Winter
Wind blows
Trees bend and break under pressure
Cold surrounds all
Air that burns your lungs
Howling, whistling
You can’t escape it
The outdoors become unbearable
Taking you prisoner, a hostage of the wind
People covered by dense layers
Like a wolf’s winter coat
Birds abandon their roosts
Heading for their vacation spots
Squirrels frantic to gather their supplies
Bears hide away deep in caves
People tuck themselves in under blankets
No one wants to endure the cold
Days pass by in a blink
Nights seem to last for ages
Depression makes itself at home
Will the darkness lift?
Where a rainbow of red and yellow once was
Nothing is left, leaves are scarce
Color disappears
Only white remains
But we progress, fires burn
Smoke wafts out of chimneys
Marsh mellows are cooked
Ginger bread real estate is put on the market
Pine needles adorn the floor
Packages lined up around the trunk
Bulbs and colorful globes hang from branches
An angel sits high above the rest, watching
A blanket covers the ground
Laughter hits your ears
Tightly packed snow whizzes through the air
Sheets of ice lay hidden beneath the snow
Children count down days
When will the reindeer come to our roof top?
Anticipation builds
Cookies and milk will soon be left by the fireplace
Family assembles
All the puzzle pieces take their places
Eggnog and cocoa seem right at home in their mugs
Stockings hang like neck ties at a board meeting
All these signs can only mean one thing
Its that time of year
Your senses scream it
Winter is here
You
Memories of you
But that’s not what I want
No I don’t want memories of
You, I want you
Time spent together
Don’t want that to end
People come and go but not
You, I want you
All that I need
Is for you to be around
Only one thing makes it all ok,
You, I want you
Somewhere out there
Is the girl for me
When I picture this only one face appears,
You, I want you
You hear a lot
Of talk about soul mates,
Not just my soul mate, my heart is for
You, I want you
Things are rocky
Mountains, rocky road ice cream,
But relationships shouldn’t, not with
You, I want you
It takes a lot
Work, time, effort, love
It’s worth it to be with
You, I want you
Wait…
I take it all back
I don’t actually want
You, I want Us
The Dance
Stumbling down the same ol’ path
Walking alone with no end in sight
On my own surrounded by dark
Keep moving on, searching for the light
I had a plan to get through this
There was only one way
No one was there to guide me
And from my grand design I did stray
Things are never how they appear
That causes me great confusion
I thought I had certain aspects figured out
In the end they may have all been an illusion
Life takes funny turns
Many forks in the road
I have to work this out for myself
Can’t ask for help, it’s against my code
In a cave, I travel deeper and deeper
My compass is broken, doesn’t point in any direction
Sit down on a rock, taking a break
I pause for reflection
I no longer know the way
Truly flying blind
My face is blank without expression but
The gears turn like never before inside my mind
It’s hard to know what’s right
There’s no model to follow
It all seems to lack meaning
Leaving me empty and hollow
Ever thing I do, each breath I take
It’s all becoming a struggle
Too big of a clown to work through it
Or maybe just too tired to juggle
Have to keep treading water
If not I’ll drown
The tide is rising, nothing to stand on
Feet no longer reach the ground
Figure out what to do
It’s my only chance
Can’t keep going through the motions
I’m sick of the dance
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